Through the Robin's Eye
by Youkomon
Summary: Feeling the stress of the last Sladefilled weeks getting to her, Starfire vents her true feelings out to something that can’t even hear her…or can it? one shot


This takes place in the first season while Robin is 'suffering' from his obsession of catching Slade and distancing himself from the people who care about him as a result. I thought Starfire coped with the situation very calmly and maturely but then the more cynical part of my mind said "or did she?" What if it was all a façade, so that she could put Robin's needs before her own and was feeling just as angry as the other titans deep down inside? We all know how selfless she is…and thus this fic was born…

Summary: Feeling the stress of the last Slade-filled weeks getting to her, Starfire vents her true feelings out to something that can't even hear her…or can it?

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Starfire stared down at the shoebox, sadness painting her face into a wistful and mournful expression that did not match her usual carefree personality. Her watery gaze was fixed solely on a pitifully small form curled within the pink tissue she had laid with the container with loving fingers. Those same calm fingers respectfully made contact with the body, fluffing feathers and tracing the outline of limp talons, the wings caving round the bird's body in a sheltering embrace. A single black eye peered up at her, dull and unresponsive in death.

Only Starfire couldn't call it that. Not when the sweet little thing looked so peaceful, lying there as though it was merely in slumber. Why it was almost as if the bird would raise it's head any second now and let out a chirp of surprise at being surrounded by blinding walls of pink. And why not?

"Because you are just a shell", Starfire murmured.

A single tear fell down her slim cheek before her fingers crawled through the air to meet it and sweep it away with infinite care.

"That body…it is surely like a mask to hide the void within. You have lost the light. You have lost yourself", she continued in an even softer tone but one that was laced with pain, " and so you have moved on…gone…somewhere I can not reach you or bring you back."

Her eyes lost their focus through the tears threaten to overshadow her view and the pupils shifted distracally to look to the side of the birds head. It was almost as if she was talking to someone else.

"Why?" emerged her voice at last, made taut with emotional pain and heated anger, "Why did you leave me? I truly believed I was all the things you needed of me. I made you food when you suffered from hunger, I provided warmth when you were cold, I was there…always. I was there to catch you when you fell, I was forever willing to aid you in whatever form of help you required and I fixed your broken wings when they were smashed…"

Her clenched fists buried themselves within the purple material of her skirt, applying just enough force to cause a slight tear to appear at the rim.

"…and I still would."

The red hair flopped over the ridge of her forehead and cut across her vision - not that she cared. Or maybe the real problem was that she cared too much about something else?

"But you won't let me!"

Now she was on her feet, glowering with all the anger she had suppressed over the past few weeks in order to defend the source. She was spiting with fury, ready to unleash all her frustration in the form of irrational shouting.

"Now you can not hear me! You never hear me no matter how much I amplify my voice or strain my vocal cords! Your ears refuse to listen to what I tell you…it is though you are truly dead to the world! Why will you not hear me! I want you back, I want everything to be as it was before. But it cannot…and never, have I wished so hard that this shell could be restored to it's former glory, never before have I prayed so earnestly that the light can be relit and cancel out the void!"

She stared down, directly at the side of the bird's head that was visible to her. She now spoke in an excited whisper.

"If I could, I would rip off that mask, strip off all the secrets, layer by layer…"

The bird's eye, held by the grip of death, glared stoically up at her.

"…and I would wish to look into those eyes and see real life rekindled in there once more. I would want to see all the hurt, all the pain in those soul-windows and be granted allowance to carry the burden and ease the suffering…"

A sigh, so soft it could have been mistook for the wind, entered the room.

"But that will never happen."

And Starfire, the girl who abhorred dishonesty and yet had chosen to wear a mask of calmness and serenity, of hope and unconditional faith, ever since the whole mess had stared, felt grief rip sharply into her stomach. It was amazing how loss could twist the personality of one so honest and open as she into doing something that went against everything she stood for and believed in.

Two shaky legs forced themselves upwards, rebelling against stubborn gravity as she looked down at the motionless body.

"Now I must have the funeral for the friend that left me", she muttered, bending down to ease the cardboard coffin into her strong arms.

She flew forwards, pausing only to slide the window open and push herself through the open space. Then onwards she struck out against the wind, sharp unhuman eyes scanning the ground for a suitable graveyard. The onslaught of air pounding against eyes forced water out them, streaking her face with transparent liquid at the sheer velocity she was travelling at…or were they simply tears of sorrow?

For Starfire knew that as she lay the bird to rest in the ground, with it she would have to bury all her reservations, her doubts, fear and anger with it, sealing them up with the dead body before returning to the tower with a gleeful smile in place. And she would have to work even harder to struggle up something similar to hope within her. Similar but not quite.

"And now I must save the one who taught me to fly alongside the humans who do it everyday, despite the fact that their feet never once leave the ground. I will make him fly again…I am only sorry I was unable to help you accomplish the same feat…", the girl said softly, stroking the scarlet chest with her numb fingertips for the last time.

It felt like as soft and unruly as human hair against her apologising hands but the feathers stayed firmly in place as though held there by cheap hair gel. And was it her imagination or did the robin's eye seem to vibrate with a knowing glow as she laid it in the earth?


End file.
